It's Not Cute Anymore. It's Fucking Annoying.

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It's funny how when you like someone, everything they do seems cute. But when you cross over into the not liking zone, they could do the exact same thing and it can seem like the most annoying thing anyone could possibly do. The exact same thing.

Case in point: Andy always eats only a half a piece of gum. I used to think this was cool. He'd tear the piece in half and save it for later and then a pack of gum lasted twice as long. Today, I offered him a piece of gum and he took it and ripped it in half, just like he always does, and I wanted to shove the rest of the piece in his fucking mouth. Eat the whole goddamn piece. It's a single piece of gum. It will fit in your mouth. It's not cute at all. It's fucking annoying. I find half pieces of gum in my car all the time and it's a fucking waste because they are dirty and old and no one wants to eat them. So just eat the whole effing piece. 

It wasn't funny at all, it annoyed the shit out of me. And then, I sat down and started writing this post and I thought back to the fantasies I had while driving home about climbing across the car and prying his mouth open dramatically and shoving the rest of the gum in his mouth. And now I'm laughing. 

There are Reasons They Serve Wine at Community Theatre

I should probably wait until the morning to post about tonight's super duper performance of Death of a Salesman starring Andy W******* ....

Ok, I waited ten minutes. Still sitting at the computer. I should really just go to bed right now. Unfortunately, they served wine at the show. And, the wine was $3 a glass. And, there were two 15 minute intermissions. And...well...honestly I'm pretty sure the wine was there for only one reason. There might as well have been a sign on the table that said, "Hey! Congrats for surviving for the previous Act. Have a glass of cheap shitty wine to help you forget about the fact you are stuck here for another few hours." 


Sorry. I'm being a bitch. Don't judge me. You weren't there.

I'm all about acting. Hell, I'm an actress myself. I have an incredible amount of respect for the people who put themselves out there and get up in front of people. Honestly. I wish I could do it. But tonight, I don't know what was harder, not laughing at the ridiculous facial expressions of the level of overacting I cannot do justice to, or staying awake.

This is the wine talking. I swear. Sorry to cut this rant short, but Brad is calling me and I'd rather spend the next ten minutes playing a sappy game of I wish we were roommates so that we could be cuddling right now (followed by me convincing myself that it is a good idea to tell him that I can't stop thinking about how fucking hot he looks naked,) than I would waste another minute thinking about the mess of a play I just witnessed. Ahhh wine, I swear. It's the wine.

Acting in the Shower

Andy: I just really want to move to LA to be an actor. I'm so passionate about it.

Me: That's cool. Do you have a lot of acting experience?

Andy: I was in this really cool show in college.

Me: What show?

Andy: Just a little show.

Me: That's cool, what show was it?

Andy: I don't remember the name of it actually. It was like this thing that everyone had to do. It was a mandatory thing for all students.

Me: Ooooh. Did people come watch it?

Andy: Well, like the other people in the class.

Me: Mmhmm. So, are you good at acting??

Andy: Yeah, I mean if I can get over my stage fright of doing it in front of people. I'm really good when it's just me. Like when I'm in the shower and stuff.

Me: You're definitely ready for LA.

Going to see Andy in a play tonight. We had this conversation a few weeks ago, right before I told him maybe he should try it out in front of an actual audience before making the move to Cali. It's going to be hard to take him seriously while picturing him doing a dramatic shower rehearsal. I hope I don't start laughing mid-show.

Twilight Email from Andy

Andy wrote me an email at 4:30 this morning. It started off, "I wish I could let it pass, but as I lay here sleepless in the early morning hours of twilight, I know that I cannot." From there, it only got better. I didn't answer all of his text messages, again. I didn't answer all of his questions, again. Now, he's unable to sleep and resorting to writing a sappy email because I have let him down, again. I'm trying to find patience to deal with this, but I'm struggling. 

I'm not really sure how to answer. He puts me in these positions where I don't know how to respond. I am inclined to lie. It's the easiest thing. Because if I tell the truth, he will take it the wrong way and he will get upset. And honestly, it's none of his damn business. He acts like we dated for a few years, when we were never technically together. We were hanging out for a few weeks. That's it. I'm allowed to hang out with who ever I want. And I'm also allowed to not tell him about it. I'm allowed to not answer if I am busy. He doesn't need to know where I am at all times and who I am with. 

Maybe it would be easier if I told him I was seeing someone else, but that would somehow take things with Brad to the next level and I'm not ready to say that I am seeing anyone. I'm single. I've been hanging out with other people but I'm not in a relationship with anyone. I'll save resorting to this until I am actually in a relationship. 

I thought that I could be friends with Andy and it would be ok. Honestly, I didn't really care to be friends with him after everything, but I mean, he's ok as a friend and we go to a ton of the same castings together and bump into each other a lot. He's fun as a friend sometimes and it's better to have him as a friend then to have an awkward person that I used to be friends with but run into all the time. It's hard to imagine that I ever kissed him. Seems gross now.